May 9, 2013 § Leave a comment

one thing i would like to do sometime soon is eat a meal by myself. it has been too long. too, too long.

what i would like is to come in, sandy and lightheaded from a beach, to a restaurant with a small menu printed on thick paper. the pages would be worn at the corners where people have rubbed their fingers thinking should i get a drink.  i would like to be seated against windows sweeping  over a casuarina grove crusted with salt from the sea. i would like to sit in a chair – i would like to sit, oh almost sit –  wait for the waiter to step behind me and gently push the chair in –  i would like to sit in that chair and unfold my napkin into a cool, grey linen square over my lap. i would like to order a big glass of wine and hold it by the neck in between two fingers and feel the weight of the wine in the bowl.

i know without looking up at all, that there are long stemmed wooden fans pulling pina colada breezes in from the beach and whipping them into a warm, yellow summer up above me. i would like to close my tired, tired eyes and see the red stars explode hotly across the inside of my lids.

what i would like is to fill the entire world up with cotton and be small and quiet and spare and empty of all purpose but the decision to put a single spoonful of fruit






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