a meditation, a rant, a ramble.
December 25, 2013 § 3 Comments
this year has not had that many people in it. you have done a bad job, girl.
literally all my effort goes into keeping a healthy flow of people around me, who will say/not say things which may/may not be interesting (but are usually calculated to be interesting and oftentimes that effort succeeds) – while i lie half-asleep and cock-eared, absorbing that noise and metabolising the general trend of it into something i can play with. we must keep the stimuli coming because we are not that original, you know? each of us is an information-processing machine that is wired a little differently from each other information-processing machine, so all the commentary we produce varies – but it varies only a little, because we are not that original. we are limited by everything we choose not to do.
i choose to not do a lot. it is my fault. i am lazy, insolent and far too pleased with myself to really improve myself. i have used my excellent seventh-sense to locate inspirational persons however, and i am observing them, combing their beautifully maintained fur and scratching under their chins while they look upon me with indifference and teach me how to do Life.
i don’t know at what point this place morphed into a book review place. what am i, the fuckin New Yorker? nobody needs my input. as the regular reader will have noticed, i like almost every book i read. i read, but not as much as i should and certainly not what i should. i read a lot and i like most of it. not very discerning. i do other things too, you know? sometimes i just stare at the covers of books and decide to buy pizza with that money
maybe (lookit me, so cautious) i’ll write about things i disagree STRONGLY with. or care STRONGLY about. that’s exercise for the brain, that is. i feel faint already. Uncle Peter! my smelling salts!
by the way, wordpress has drawn an angry red scraggle beneath ‘fuckin’ in that one sentence in that paragraph above this one; it looks like wordpress wants me to put an apostrophe there to note the lack of a ‘g’, but that would seem too effortful wouldn’t it? i didn’t put that ‘g’ there because i didn’t say it with a ‘g’ inside my brain. i do not need to include a sanctimonious little head-tip to grammar-sexuals because i hold no truck with the likes of those. do a little reading, man. language changes so quickly, man. let it flow, man. but just… read a little, man.
these days, i feel like telling a lot of people to ‘just read a little, man’. all this information right here, for practically free (for me. my WiFi is cheap as hell, may baby jesus bless my provider) and no one wants to read. can i just express a tiny prejudice here? i think you need to be read as widely as your sense of being will possibly let you, in order that you be a truly appealing human bean. there’s a great graph i saw somewhere (lies. i just made it up) which represents how reading works on people. i will reproduce that graph for you (i will draw it here) since i am good at graphs (i am horrible at graphs).
this subject of this graph is ‘readers’.
(My drawing is not a graph about reading. It is a picture of a boa constrictor digesting an elephant.)
what i am saying via that^ envy of all analysts and desire of all mathematicians – that beautiful graph – is that if you just keep readin’, just keep readin’, you will eventually hit this excellent place where you will be able to visualise the vast, craggy impossibility of accounting for all tastes and morals. it will be relaxing because you will finally internalise that you know nothing and that nobody knows anything and that we are only knocking on the doors of every leaf and man and child and puppy and galaxy to find anyone, anybody please, who might know more than us and save us from our bereft selves.
(some of us will be bitter from not finding that person. those of us will write bitter, interesting books.)
i am frequently exhausted by all the social media i consume. my feed is full of opinionated, dynamic people either dickswinging or grandstanding or pearl-clutching or taking offense because in the words of my main man:
“…rightly to be great
Is not to stir without great argument,
But greatly to find quarrel in a straw
When honour’s at the stake.”
really, what price that honour, twitter? you all exhaust me.
to those of you to whom this rant applies: read some things.
to other people: download and watch David Tennant as Hamlet. what a gift that incredible man is. *inappropriate thoughts*
to me: quit reading rubbish and do some things.